Difficult!
It started out with me recovering from surgery to my right foot following a bad fall. Just when things should have been getting better, my husband suffered a very serious injury at work. Oh, you can't see anything wrong, but mental injury is, in a lot of ways, worse than anything physical. With my physical injury, at least we could say, "According to the x-rays, I'm improving." With post-traumatic stress disorder, the injury is invisible and the road to recovery is long and never easy.
But on the plus side, I've learned lots this past year. I learned that trying to use the system fairly only gets you jerked around. I've learned that people you thought of as friends, aren't really. This realization comes slowly as the phone stops ringing and calls and messages go largely unanswered. My son has suffered through all this too.
I also learned that sometimes people come into our lives at a time when we really could use a friend. They may only be there for a short while but have a huge impact. I've learned that I really do work for a great company and have a terrific boss. She's been fantastic with thoughtful advice and guidance. In fact, all my coworkers have been really supportive. I've also learned that something I've always believed is true: Our biker friends really are family. They've been very accepting of my husband either not being around or his being there in person occasionally, but not really in spirit. They quietly accepted his need to leave shortly after arriving, or his need to just sit in the corner and not associate. And they've been sympathetic ears for me to talk to. I also learned that my dearest friends are so wonderful I feel unworthy. People like them make world a better place. Their unquestioning generousity of heart leaves me humbled to call them "friend".
For all the crap that was 2012, I go forward on the strength of the amazing people that have not only been there for us, but show no sign of budging anytime soon. At a time when my usual rock is a crumbled pile of pebbles, it's nice to know I've got other rocks to lean on. Thank you to each and every one of you. Love you all! Let's grab 2013 by the horns and make it better.
