Cancer and the Tattoos

Well here I am. I am halfway through the treatment part of the journey. First there was surgery and recovery from that; and now I'm moving on to the radiation treatment phase. 

Last week I had four tattoos placed on me that will allow the radiation to pinpoint with accuracy, exactly where we want the treatment. Now it might sound like a lot when you say I had four tattoos in one day however, these are the tiniest little pinpoint tattoos you'll ever see. Check the picture and keep in mind this is a blown up version. Nevertheless, that didn't stop me from boasting to my sister that I got four tattoos in one day. 

She laughed her head off when I showed them to her because she has multiple tattoos and has been after me for years to get one. She asked if I would bite the bullet now and get an actual tattoo. I said of course not. I still hate needles and I had a hard time even with these four pokes.

I'm more than a little bit nervous about the radiation part. I know it doesn't hurt so that's one thing, but I worry about side effects and reactions to those side effects. Not much I can do about it except move forward and deal with it as it comes. Since the treatment takes place in a city that's almost 3 hours drive away from me, I will be staying in a hotel near the hospital for the duration, only coming home on weekends. This hotel is set up with several rooms for cancer related treatment patients, includingg subsidized costs. There are two-bedroom suites and shared bathroom, kitchen, and living room. I just don't really care for the idea of basically living with a complete stranger. I'm sure they're not thrilled with it either. It is what it is. 

I start in 2 days and find myself giving thought to what to bring. Clothes of course, and books of course, but I also plan to bring a crochet project that I have had on the go for over a year. I had planned to finish it long ago, but over the past year I found I could not sit for very long without pain and discomfort.  As my actual treatment is only going to take about an hour out of my day when you add in the short shuttle trip to an from the hospital, I will have many empty hours. To put a positive spin on this, I will be able to focus on this project without worrying about anything else. 

After the radiation series, there is a weeks-long recovery.  The oncologist says I might be able to start a gradual return to work by December.  In the meantime, my passport should be arriving soon.  I plan to take some time for me and hopefully go somewhere next year sometime.  

Resilience... more than just a word

I have always been pretty resilient. To me it means the ability to bounce back, roll with the punches, and generally just able to wing it when necessary. I have never needed to be more resilient than I have in this past year. 

First I hit a big deer with my car, totaled my car, had weeks and weeks and weeks of physiotherapy to the able to move again like I had prior to the accident. My sister-in-law, who was in the late stages of her cancer, passed away in early spring. I had to be there for my family and be the resilient one. Not too long after that, with ongoing consistent abdominal pain, I received my own cancer diagnosis. It was a bit of a gut punch. I had to suck it up pretty quick because I needed to be able to focus on the next steps right away. 

Now, surgery behind me by about 5 weeks, I face the next step in the process. This starts with a CT scan to pinpoint exactly where the doctors want to focus for radiation treatments. In all, they plan to administer 25 treatments. This will be over the course of approximately 5 weeks  as I will go daily, Monday to Friday, for treatments, except holidays like Thanksgiving in which case they extend the treatment by a day to compensate. 

It's going to be a true test of resilience. Not just because of the actual treatments, but because I will be away from my family for so long, only able to see them at weekends or if they come to visit me during the week. We live in a fairly small town area, so while our local large hospital does offer chemotherapy treatments, it does not offer radiation. I think this brings me to my next life's work moment. 

I am going to reach out to the CEO at the hospital and open a dialogue on how we make this Hospital a Radiation Treatment Centre. For myself, a trip to the radiation centre I need to go to is a 370 km round trip. Many people in our area would have an even further commute than that. Now bear in mind, it's not a daily commute but rather, it is a trip down on Monday and a return trip on Friday for me. Fortunately, there is a hotel near the hospital that is set up to cater to cancer patients. Two bedroom suites are shared by two patients, with a joint living area, small kitchen, and bathroom. Not only that, meals are included for the patients and it's priced way below what you would expect. Thank goodness. Not just me but I'm sure many people wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise. 

This picture of the camp bracelet I got from Tim Hortons this year. I usually buy a bracelet to support Camp day. This year I asked simply for a blue one and this is the one that was handed to me. I found out later that this was actually from last year's stock and not one of this year's bracelets. It was meant to be.

So it'll take a little resilience to manage the separation from my family over such an extended period. But I've got this. And at the end of it all, the grand prize of being rid of cancer.