Surgery Looms

As my surgery date rapidly approaches, I feel the weight of everything I have to do ahead of time.  I need to go over work-related stuff with my boss; stuff like how my files are organize on the computer, how to set up a zoom meeting, how to this, how to that, basically how to function without me for a few months.  Then there’s stuff at home like general cleaning, which is just not happening due to a lack of energy and intense pain; and clearing out the basement as our 19-year-old son will be moving down there so he has his own space.  Aside from a sleeping alcove, he’ll have a small living room area where he can have his computer and all his other stuff.  Of course he’ll still hang with us to watch tv and have meals, but it will be good for him to have his own space besides a small bedroom.  Again, though, pain and energy levels have stalled this project as well. 

As far as work goes, who knew there would be so many damn forms to fill out just to have surgery and take short-term disability leave?  And as if there weren’t enough forms for that, there is a 22-page booklet of instructions for preparing for the surgery!  

I’m managing the pain as best as possible with Tylenol and the very rare occasional boost from Advil (which is counter-indicated due to the blood pressure meds).  The pain itself is hard to describe.  Most of the time it’s a constant ache as if someone is pressing on my lower abdomen with the handle end of a knife.  Other times it’s a sudden sharp pain.  Sometimes it gets so intense that it feels like someone took coals from a good fire and just laid them inside me.  And yet other times it radiates right through to my lower back.  These are the times I’m thankful for seat warmers in my car, which I have used even though it’s 28 degrees outside!  Some days I’m able to sit for hours either at work or on the sofa, and some days I can’t get comfortable sitting or laying down, or even standing up.  Overall, it’s bad enough that I truly believe the pain I will experience post-surgery can only be an improvement!  

Initially we had planned for my husband to bring me to the hospital and then leave for home when they take me for surgery.  After thinking about it for a few days, I told my husband I’d prefer to have him there with me for the day until I’m out of surgery and in a room.  Our son is coming too.  This brings me comfort.  I’m scared enough without doing this and them not being there.  Knowing they are will really do a lot for my peace of mind.  The part that does suck though, is having to be awake by 3:00 am or so.  Since we live a handy 3-hour drive from the hospital, we will have to leave home between 4:30 and 5:00 am in order to get there for the 8:00 am check-in.  Surgery is scheduled for 11:00 am and I’m going to be starving by then since I can’t eat after midnight.  Hopefully they’ll have food handy when I wake up.